Coloratura Christian

I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:4-5)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Way of Life

Moving is always difficult, but especially when you are changing, not just location, but also culture and your function in that culture.

How difficult it is when you have set up your own 'way of life', to then have to adjust to someone else's 'way of life.' When you have designed a life that is unique to you, that is centered around you and your own particular enjoyments and comfort, it is so difficult to suddenly lose it. Especially when your previous 'way of life' is actually a careful carving out of who you are or who you desire to be. All of the things you do and the people you surround yourself with begin to become your identity.

When life is good, it is easy to be a "good"person, or even a "good Christian." It is easy to have joy and to be thankful. Your sin seems so small because you rarely indulge it, you are too happy to bother with base emotions such as anger, jealousy and pettiness.

When you are living this way, you cannot truly say with Paul, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." If you were honest, you would have to say, "It is I who live, and Christ lives to serve me."

God can do nothing kinder than to shatter this 'way of life,' because it is a life of self-idolatry. But oh how painful! It is amazing how many grotesque sins appear in your heart, and then you wonder, "How can I have become so base?" until you realize that you have always been this base, but you just flattered yourself otherwise.

Have mercy on me,O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.


  • At June 06, 2006, Blogger trent@ said…


  • At June 07, 2006, Anonymous elisha said…

    You are so transparent. Thank you for sharing your heart, your struggles, your brokeness. Your experience is mine... is truly that of every sinner. May God restore your joy in Him, making your heart whole and complete. As you have said to me so many times, find your identity in Christ alone. Rest in His strength and love... and surely those broken bones will once again rejoice.
    Thank you for this post.

  • At June 08, 2006, Blogger Marlene S. said…


    Dan and I were talking about the phrase "God's goodness" the other day. I wonder if it has come to mean something other than His goodness. Often I hear believers say that God is good, and then go on to tell me about how He has blessed them - with things, family, etc. This makes me wonder... is His goodness more related to His character of holiness and purity, or is it more related to the grace and blessings that He imparts?

    As you pointed out, we are definitely not good. And even in positional sanctification, we often fail to show God's goodness to others. But thanks be to God, who promises to be faithful to complete the work that He started when He saved us!!

    Blessings, sister.

    P.S. I'd love to talk to you about Berean some time. Can you call me:)

  • At June 09, 2006, Anonymous Pauline said…

    Its so humbling to recognise the truths of what you describe - as someone who has been uprooted from a wonderful 'comfort zone' I've really appreciated your thoughts. Thankyou!


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