The Irony of the Stage Mom

At the dance studio where I teach, I teased one of the mothers that she deserved the "parent of the year" award. I teach her daughter tap, and she is always at the studio helping not only her daughter, but also at least five other girls get ready for tap class. We got into a conversation about parenting and she exclaimed,

"You're not thinking about having kids, are you?"

I replied that I did want to have children a some point. To this she replied,

"You better think carefully about having kids. Your life will never be the same."

Another mom piped in,

"The best years of my life were when I was married before I had kids."

This topic was apparently popular with all the women in the waiting room, because after this I heard a series of complaints.

"All the money goes to the kids. You can't get anything for yourself."

"Make sure you do everything you want to do before you have kids. Go to shows, travel... because you never get to do anything after."

Something in me strongly resists the idea that life ends after you have kids. That the best is over, and the worst is yet to come. So in an attempt to turn the conversation around, I said lightheartedly,

"But you would not want to go back in time, would you? Don't you prefer your life now?"

"If I could go back in time," replied the 'mother of the year', "I would not have had my kids."

"Are you joking?"

"No, if I knew what I know now, I would not have had kids."

Needless to say, I was horrified, and speechless. All the other kids were standing around hearing this. This woman must have known much sorrow, but how could a mother say that? No woman in the room contradicted her, if fact, they all seemed to affirm her in her selfishness.

Maybe I am just naive, but I get excited when thinking about the privilege that women have to influence the next generation. I love reading about women like Sarah Edwards who found joy in raising the next generation to serve and glorify God. She worked hard in her life, but seemed to have great joy, and many of her children and later descendants are reported to have served society in great ways. (All our books are packed up since the bedbug incident, so I can't give an exact reference.)

I must admit that there seems to be few examples of Proverbs 31 type moms today, but ones I know are characterized by love and joy, and there is something truly beautiful about their lives.